Talking Forest

TALKING FOREST..

(FOREST FIRE FIGHTING BLUES)

            I was hitchhiking through Golden BC

 Got picked up by the RCMP

Said “Would you like to fight a forest fire?”

I said “No” ‘cause I didn’t wan to be a liar…

Didn’t want my pants on fire…

He said, “Would you like to go to jail?

I said, “About this Forest Fire…”

Well it started out with a smoky haze

Rangers burnt out the ground ahead of the blaze 

Just before it reached the guard the fire died down

And the back-fire backfired and spread all around.

…Of course that’s like fighting fire

 with fire…

I’se halfway up a hillside with a heavy hose

Dousing a ground fire in my freshly washed clothes

Mud was flowing like an avalanche

I yanked on the hose and slipped on a branch

Fell face first in the mud…

Water squirting all around…I got my clothes all soiled

The steaks every night we’d eat till we were sore

Then we’d have some desert and go back for more

After that we’d go into town to drink it up

We all used our hardhats as sort of a cup

A dozen of us crammed in and on a Volkswagen and made it back to camp

I sat on the hood and was a howling teenage hood ornament

They’d wake us at four we’d still be pretty plastered

Drinking some coffee that tasted of battery acid

After breakfast they’d herd us into a truck

Drive halfway up the mountain and get stuck.

I watched the beards of two guys turn from red to gray

As they sat on the back of a bulldozer

       churning up dust all the way to the  top…

   They’d hand us a shovel, a pulaski, a lunch, and sometimes a pisstank.

We’d use the pulaskis to chop down a trees, 

That’s so when we got back home

 We could tell everyone we stayed in a lumber camp

 and chopped down a tree. 

Took four or five of us about half an hour……

…”Timber!”  

The lunches were unbearable —as a matter of fact:

The bears steal them and then bring them back

We’d take the Pisstanks and strap them on our backs

Pick teams and then have a squirt-gun attack

We were supposed to walk around until we spotted a spot-fire and squirt water on it…     

By the time we spotted a fire the tanks would be empty

If the good Lord had intended us to….      he would have

 … That’s just what we did, killed one bird with two stones‘’’

Our hard hats were unbreakable but that wasn’t true

We’d try to break them for something to do.

We told the victim that he would get a “golden replacement”

Then the rocks would fly and rip and dent

We’d jump up and down and scream, throw rocks and boulders

Like a caveman clubbing a rodent..

They never seemed to fit quite right after that. 

 We’d go into camp two or three at a time seeking new helmets

But we never got a golden helmet.

Told them a Caterpillar ran over them. 

Got replacement helmets and spray painted them blue.

We’d sleep in the forest and talk a bout getting rich

The fire would creep up but we‘d never twitch

Just be dozing off when the dozer would come

Getting run over by Caterpillar ain’t much fun.

…Just ask a helmet…

Now I don’t want you to get the impression that we were lazy

When there was work to do we’d work like crazy

Digging fire ditches and carrying water up hill

We had some fun  but we’d deserved most of those bills.

Of all the crews ours was the worst

When came time to return we were always first

We snuck down to the river for a swim one day

We were all half bare naked and running around

Building dams and rolling boulders to splash down

…Saw a copter and hid in time to be saved

Except for the one who stood in the water and waved

 Copter was looking for us

Half the camp was looking for us  

We became known as the “Lost Crew”

We were yelling and cheering when we got back to camp

     …You see we all wanted to get fired

Our whole crew wanted to quit the same day

But the Fire Fighters manual said we had to stay

It rained for a while and our work was done

Its harder t o quit that job than it is to find one

I hopped a freight train to Edmonton

Stole a blanket for a souvenir had “Government of British Columbia

Printed in a circle in the center so I cut it out and made it into a poncho 

But have never worn it since.

Spring 1972 © Stefan des Lauriers 2014

I was hitch hiking out in BC
Got picked up by the RCMP
Said "You like to fight a forest fire"
I said "No," Cause I didn't want to be a liar
Didn't want my pants on fire
Said "Would you like to go to jail"
I said, "About this forest fire"

It started out small in the summer haze
Rangers burnt the brush ahead of the blaze
Just before it reached the guard
The fire died down and the backfire backfired
And spread all around
Of course that's like fighting...

We'd wake at four sleeping pretty placid
Drank some coffee tasted like battery acid
After breakfast we'd be herded in a truck
Halfway up a mountain we got stuck
We were issued a shovel
A pulaski
A lunch
And sometimes a pisstank
I had thought the pisstank was the bar 30 or 40 of us
Would hitch hike to just to drink draft out of our hard hats

The lunches were unbearable as a matter of fact
The bears would steal them then bring them back
We slept in the forest talked of getting rich
Dozers would creep up but we'd never twitch
Actually we'd grab our stuff and run
Getting crushed by a Caterpillar ain't much fun

Now don't get the impression we were lazy
When there was work to do we'd work like crazy
Diggin ditches and carrying water up hills
We had some fun but we earned our bills

Of all the crews ours was the worst
At quittin' time we were always first
Snuck down to the river for a swim one day
Thought we heard helicopters coming our way
Half the camp was looking for us
We became known as the "Lost Crew"

Our whole crew wanted to quit the same day
But the Fire Fighters Manual said we had to stay
It rained for a while and our work was done
It's harder to quit that job than it is to find one

© 1972 Stefan des Lauriers